You didn’t listen to me when I told you to turn off the solitaire and go to sleep.

I know you’re tired. Why wouldn’t you be? You got less than 6 hours of sleep. You know that you can’t function with less than 7 or 8.

So, you’ve got to make a choice today. Here are your options:

1. Scrap your to do list and take a nap (seriously, there’s nothing that important on it anyway).
2. Battle through and be exhausted and cranky all day.

Whatever choice you make, it’s time to own your mistake and stop complaining about it. It’s pointless, annoying, and serves no purpose.

But you know what? It’s not all fun and games and while humor can sometimes make a situation not seem so bad, there are other times when you just gotta  feed that beast and let the frustration and hurt run its course.

I had another appointment today and what I thought was going to happen didn’t happen. I was supposed to have a gum graft but the doctor said I wasn’t ready. I’m torn by this. I want to be done, but I also love the fact that he wants to make sure it’s done RIGHT.

I get it. I do. But I’m just so tired and frustrated and DONE.

• I’m tired of my mouth being pulled every which way every 3-6 months.
• I’m tired of the cost.
• I’m tired of the time it takes.
• I’m tired of how shot my nerves get immediately before, during, and immediately after.
• I’m tired of having to explain to the kids that they need to be careful when they kiss me.
• I’m tired of food running down my face because I can’t feel it.
• I’m tired of the whole left side of my face, including my upper eyelid, being numb.
• I’m tired of wishing my face would be numb again when the pain finally sets in.
• I’m tired of the antibiotics.
• I’m tired of the staining on my teeth from the prescription moutwash.
• I’m tired of being careful of the stitches when I brush my teeth.
• I’m tired of telling people “I’m hopefully almost done.”
• I’m tired of backing out commitments because of appointments.
• I’m tired of the drive to the oral surgeons office.
• I’m tired of Emma asking me if she’ll have to have surgery when she goes to the dentist.
• I’m tired of looking like I’ve been in a bar brawl for a week or two after surgery.
• I’m tired of rinsing with salt water.
• I’m tired of wondering whether all of this is going to be worth it or if I’ll have to do it all again in 5 years time.
• I’m tired of worrying about every ache, pain and discomfort in my mouth.
• I’m tired of getting into a fitness groove only to have derailed for 2-5 days.
• I’m tired of having shots of novicaine in my mouth.
• I’m tired of having to get more shots of novicaine in my mouth because the first shots weren’t enough.
• I’m tired of making sure I have enough soft foods in the house.
• I’m tired of realizing too late that I’m not ready for harder foods.

That’s it. No happy go lucky silver lining. No rose colored glasses. No jokes to make it all better.

I’m tired and frustrated, and today I’m going to let myself feel that.

Don’t pretend like you haven’t been sitting at home waiting for me to write it. I know you have. Admit it.

Just to tide you over, I’ll give you a little something else to read. A few days ago over at The Sisterhood, Nancy revisited the whole idea of listing three things that we love about ourselves. The original prompt was “When I look in the mirror, I like my _______.”

I’m really trying this year to not make it so much about the physical (how I look, the number on the scale, etc.) as much as about the mental/emotional. So I’m going to revise the prompt a little bit and list three non-physical things I like about myself.

1. I’m pretty damn funny. Sometimes I forget this about myself. I definitely lean towards the cynical/snarky side of humor, but it makes my day when I’m able to make someone laugh.
2. I’m fiercely loyal. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not the greatest when it comes to fostering/nurturing relationships, but even though I may be a quiet friend, I’ll be there for you no matter what. If you need something, I will do everything I can to make things better for you.
3. If you need help, I’m your girl. I love volunteering at school and I almost always say yes to people’s request for help. Sometimes this can get me into a bit of trouble when it comes to things that I need to do for myself, but I get a lot of satisfaction out of doing things for other people.

There you have it. What about you? What three things, physical or non-physical, do you love about yourself? Hit me up in the comments!

I will be the first to admit that when it comes to eating healthy during travel, I kind of suck at it.

I have every intention of NOT eating crap, but somehow crap always finds it way in. I go into “So what? I’m on VACATION!!” mode and suddenly anything goes.

Things that I wouldn’t have touched with a ten foot pole the week before suddenly becomes I’VEGOTTOEATITNOWANDGOAHEADANDGIVEMETWO!

But I’m bound and determined to make this time different. We’re driving down to Orlando for a week and things WILL be different. We’re packing our own food for the car so there won’t be any tempting fries at the fast food joint. I’m also not packing any candy or sweets for the road.

When we get down there, I don’t want to have fries with lunch and dinner because it’s “part of the combo”. I will do my best to really look at the menu before I order instead of just ordering the foods that are part of a combo.

We packed plenty of food to have with us in the room, too. Lots of healthier snacks, lots of fruits and vegetables, yogurt, and oatmeal for me.

I just  have to remind myself that food in Florida tastes exactly the same as food in Maryland. That cheeseburger that is calling out to me is not a special treat. I can get it anytime. I don’t need to have dessert at every meal. I can have dessert anytime.

I’m promising myself RIGHT NOW that unless it’s truly special, truly something that will be a treat, I WILL NOT EAT IT.

Having food in the shape of characters will not make me enjoy my vacation more.

Having multiple servings of fried food will not make me enjoy my vacation more.

Having “special sweets” twice a day for a week will not make me enjoy my vacation more.

Food in general will not break or break my vacation.

The end.