I’m not what you would call a “positive person”.
It’s been well documented that I complain a lot. And I argue with my kids a lot. And I yell a lot. And that, in general, I’m a glass-half-empty kind of girl.
For Pete’s sake, I even named one of my categories “Parenting Woes“.
And yet, I harp on my kids for complaining a lot. And arguing with me a lot. And yelling a lot.
It’s hard to reinforce the good in kids when you did show them the kind of good you want reinforced.
How do you try to be more positive? Any and all suggestions will be thoroughly examined and tested.
I could use all the help I can get.
Hey look, another Parenting Woes post!
Whenever we’ve finished some outing or event or activity, I ask my kids to tell me the thing they like most about what’s just transpired. Even if they feel like complaining, they can pull themselves out of the dumps for a few seconds to find something positive to mention.
I am so positive when it comes to other people, but my own family not so much. I will be interested to see what people say here. ;o)
I was just thinking today, “Am I too pessimistic? ”
Maybe I’m just a mean sarcastic.
One method we have used but have let fall away with the kids is Daily Appreciation. Simply gather up on the bed or couch or floor with the family and ask each family member “What do you appreciate today?”
Everyone answers one at a time around the circle. Can the course of your day.
Meant to say “can CHANGE the course of your day”
Hmmm … I think I’m a pretty upbeat/positive person, but my husband does not agree at all. When I step back and see me, I can see why … and, frankly, this look through his eyes is more unpleasant for me than bathing suit shopping!
So, I remind myself all the time to be upbeat. I do this with little notes to myself – things I can see.
It’s easy to find the positives with my kids and let them know they rock – because they really do! But, that true positive feeling? When I can’t find it?
I fake it until I feel it!
It works!
Coffee, wine and chocolate help me a lot. Yes, I am an emotional eater. But those foods bring out the good emotions, so then I’m happier throughout the day. I sometimes hear my negative/sharp tone come out in MAM, and that always stops me in my tracks. I try to use the language I want her to use, and help her rephrase to sound more polite, which in itself is generally more positive. And when we reach a breaking point, we go outside/leave the house. We three (me & kids) are generally calmer in the car or outdoors. Putting on a smile is a job unto itself!
I have tried very hard to come to that positive place and I’ve made a lot of progress in the past year or so. As far as yelling goes, I simply decided to get softer instead of louder. Not all the time, but most of the time this works. I get down on their level and speak extra soft and convey my displeasure. It actually gets the point across much better!
For me being more spiritually connected makes all the difference in the world. Try reading a book by Sally Clarkson (Mission or Motherhood, or Ministry of Motherhood) to inspire you. Or even getting the Power of a Praying Parent and make a point to say a focused prayer for your children every morning before you start your day.