I gained 1.6 pounds since last week. There is nothing much more that can be said about that. I didn’t track. I went out to eat 3 or 4 times and made horrible choices. When I ate at home, I kept on eating way past the point of comfort. I fell off my exercise plan “because the kids were off school”. It’s what I did and I can’t go back and change it.
Yesterday, I posted an entry in a writing contest. I discovered something about myself and now I need to expand on it. I’m afraid of losing weight and keeping it off. Here are the specifics:
- I’m afraid I’ll let the weight come back on…again.
- I’m afraid that I won’t have anything else to work for.
- I’m afraid that I still won’t be happy with the way I look.
- I’m afraid that I won’t get the support I need because “I’m finished”.
- I’m afraid that people will think I’m a hypocrite if I don’t “eat healthy”.
- I’m afraid that I won’t have anything to identify myself with…I’ve been the one “trying to lose weight” for so long, it’s just part of who I am.
- I’m afraid of failing.
I’m not sure how to work past this stuff. I’m so afraid of the “What now?” that I’m not doing the “Right now.”
Don’t give up. Just focus on what you know is the right thing to do. This happens to me all the time. I just get back on my routine and the pounds go away. I’m down a total of 11 pounds so far. Hang in there.
Thea- I can imagine that was hard to write and post, but it’s sooo very true and honest. you are right. We(women) feel that way.
One day you are going to identify yourself as a success. A “healthy weight loss story”. I just know it. You can do it and I hope that this week you find yourself thinking and knowing that.
You are an amazing support for so many of us at the sisterhood that my only wish is that you will always feel supported in your journey.
lots of love!
CE
At least you are recognizing and acknowledging that you may be afraid of those things! That’s great!
We will continue to support you even when you do reach your goal, which I know you will!
I know how you feel in so many ways. I am one of those girls that lost it all and gained most of it back but I am resolved not to do it this time (gain it back). You can do this! Try not to worry about something that hasn’t happened and know that you *won’t* let it happen. Hugs.
take it from someone that’s faught her weight her entire life. it’s a huge struggle and no matter how much weight you lose, and i have lost a lot, you’re never happy with how you look. that’s just the way it is unfortunately. yes, i’m happier than i was at my heaviest, which was for most of my life, but that is now a distant memory. every day is about my weight. i’m never thin enough. i’m never fit and lean enough. it’s always something. i’ve recently gained 25 pounds due to lots of stress and eating crap and i wish i was back to that smaller size when i was complaining about being that size! lol. it’s a never ending cycle of abuse we inflict on ourselves.
Powerful, all of this is so powerful, Thea.
Does it make it better for you to know you are not alone?
Wow! You were so honest. I love that.
It’s okay to be afraid. It’s natural to be afraid. Nobody want’s to be judge, even if you’re the one judging yourself. But remember who you are and that you are not just your weight. You are complex and wonderful. You are more than just a number!
Accept yourself first and others have no choice but to follow. But always remember that if you fall, just get back up again. Don’t focus on the fact that you fell or that you’re down. Focus on where you want to be and where you have the COURAGE and STRENGTH to go.
Wow – love the honestly. You are saying what a lot of us feel too. What’s that saying “feel the fear and do it anyway”. Today’s another day! You can do it!
You have expressed every fear that one or all of us had at some time or another. You are so not alone on this journey. Lean on us girl, lean on us.
I think this is really powerful. It’s amazing how we all use our weight to fill some sort of need. I don’t know if I’d be brave enough to list all of mine.
All I can say is “WOW”! I so very much appreciate your candidness…I can’t tell you just how many of your “I’m afraid”s I can identify with. You just accomplished the first step in overcoming your fears, addressing them loud and clear. I’m inspired to really think through why I’ve suddenly hit the “wall” (afraid that I’m going to have to work really hard to get the last 15 pounds off…and that I may not ever reach my 15 pound weight loss goal).
You can do this, girl….and I am here to cheer you on!
No, No, NO, don’t give up. You had one bad week.
My week got worse after I weighed myself Tuesday night. I am trying to tell myself that tomorrow is a brand new day. I know it is corny, but I am gonna try again.
You can do this, we are all here for you!!
Don’t give up. It could be a simple little thing like water retention or something….it may not be JUST the yucky eating….do NOT give up….keep going!
Hey Girlie! You can do this! Think Warm- oh, wait- Think Thin
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